the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
