But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
