Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
