bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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