So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
