I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
