just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
A+ Viking dick
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
