Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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