Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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