If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
