where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
