Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
pray to the hookup gods
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
