actually, I'm a sock model
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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