I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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