I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize