someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
