Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
