Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
