The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish you could order shots online.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
