I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize