Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
