Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my shit smells like andre
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hippo gnu deer
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
