Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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