didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
