Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
