We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
my shit smells like andre
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize