before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
