Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
