It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
