So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The air taste purple.
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