apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize