Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
