But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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