Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
