but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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