she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
