i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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