he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
