somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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