And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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