i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
