The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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