4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
