I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize