I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
A bitchslap is in order.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
