butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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