we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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