dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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