last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
