When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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