At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
