found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
