He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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