told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize