There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
