she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
