Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
