Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize