I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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