Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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