theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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