Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
