Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
