Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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