If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
